Motivational Whisperers

Do you know if you're living your own life or someone else's?
Ready to eliminate habits that are keeping you stuck?
Want to know how to develop a community of support?

If you answered yes to any of the above questions join us Wednesday July 28 at 8 pm EST on our group coaching call! 

Click on the link to register! 
See you on the call!

http://www.mpowerurself.com/assertiveness.html 
 

When you look for the good in others, you discover the best in yourself.
-- Martin Walsh

http://mpowerurself.com/

Warm Regards,
Lorna Blake

 

LJ Empowerment Consulting

Empowerment Specialist & Speaker

Visit us on the web and sign up to receive our newsletter Empower Yourself News at

www.mpowerurself.com

 

Email me: lorna@lornablake.com

Follow me on Twitter: www.twitter.com/lornab09

Empower Yourself! Transform Your Life! Have Fun!

One Simple Step for Creating Intimacy in All Your Relationships

Everyone has the desire to connect honestly and authentically with themselves and others, but often this is one of the most challenging things to do in our intimate relationships, never mind our more casual ones. If small talk is not your thing and you’re ready for deeper more satisfying connections in your relationships, here’s a quick tip to help create the honesty and authenticity you desire.

Think Before You Ask

One of the fastest, easiest ways we know of to improve the quality of your connections is by... Read More at: Creating Intimacy

Farhana Dhalla, Next Top Spiritual Author contender and Spiritual Life Coach, was an entrepreneur and mother of three when her 10 year marriage came to an abrupt end.  

She not only survived but out of her experiences she's written a raw and revealing book, "Thank You For Leaving Me", which chronicles her journey. Her book has garnered international attention and has been endorsed by Dr. David Simon, CEO of the Chopra Centre and by Lisa Nichols, one of the contributors to the Secret!

"Thank You for Leaving Me" is real, insightful and sprinkled with humour. It's not a book about divorce, it's a book about life and relationships! 

Listen as I  interview Farhana about her divorce. If you're in a relationship this may help you create a more loving and intimate relationship. If you're looking  for a relationship it may help you design your best relationship yet.  Our conversation may even help you give your all in your relationships...

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/lornablake/2010/07/09/empower-yourself-with-lorna-blake 

Are you unhappy with any of your current relationships? If so, you may find it easy to blame the problems on the other person. Do you find yourself saying things like: "No one values my opinion," "We never do what I want," "My partner doesn't spend enough time with me," "If only he/she would change, things would be so much better." 

If any of this sounds familiar, you've probably realized by now that you can't magically change other people. The best way to get the most out of all of your relationships is to start by focusing on yourself.  Read on to discover 4 ways to improve any relationship.

If you have relationships in your life that are not going quite the way you want them to, you've possibly had arguments about what's not working. You might have attempted talking calmly about the problems to see if you could make some changes. You might have even tried ignoring what was going on all together in the hope that the problem would just work itself out. If you think you've tried it all, and you're still dissatisfied with a relationship in your life, don't give up yet... here are four steps that will help to improve your relationships from the inside out.

 ~One – Identify What You Value~

In order to have healthy, satisfying relationships, you have to know what is important to you; to go deep inside and discover what it is you most truly value -- what you want to experience in your relationships.

When we asked a woman in one of our seminars what she valued, she said that she valued it when people didn't fight.

We asked her why it was important to her that people not fight, and she said, "I feel very tense when people fight and it doesn’t seem to get them anywhere.”

So then, we said to her, “It sounds like what you really value is harmony and effectiveness.”  She looked at us very excitedly and said, “Yes, that’s it!”

We use this example to point out that strategies are different than values. If you believe that the only way for you to have harmony and effectiveness in your life is for people not to fight, then experiencing what you value is at the mercy of others. On the other hand, if you understand that your strategy is driven by your value for harmony and effectiveness, it's possible to identify other strategies you can use to experience that value in your life.

~Two – Knowing What You Want~

Along with being able to tell the difference between your strategies and what you value it’s also important be able to identify what you “do want” instead of what you “don't want.”  You may think that it's six of one, half dozen of the other, but they are actually quite different. 

You may have heard this joke: A man is talking to his co-worker, "My wife told me she didn't want me spending so much time at the office, so I joined a bowling league." A funny line, but it's also the perfect example of the importance of expressing what you "do want" and not what you "don't want". What the wife really wanted (and could have said) was that she wanted her husband to spend more time with her.

It's important to remember that knowing and expressing what you “don't want” will NOT get you what you “do want.”  The next time you find yourself saying things that start "I don't want …" stop yourself and let the other person know what it is that you do want from them or from the situation.  Combine this with your ability to identify what you value, and you'll begin to notice a real change in the flow of your relationships.  

~Three – Exploring What They Want~

Once you're clear about what you value and want in your relationship, it's time to start thinking about the other person's point of view. Understanding what someone else values and desires is critical to creating genuinely satisfying relationships. Taking this initiative is something that you can do that will immediately improve the quality of your communication and in turn, your relationship.

Of course, one way to find out what they want is simply to ask them. It's a place to start, but it's not always the most effective way of getting to the truth about what a person really values. As we pointed out above, people often think in terms of their strategies as opposed to focusing on their values.

If you ask them what they want in your relationship you may hear things like, "I want you to _____" (fill in the blank).

spend more time with me

stop being such a know-it-all

listen when I'm talking, etc

Clearly, these statements just tell you what they want you to do, not what they value.  Getting to the values hidden in these statements may require a little detective work on your part. Don't just take their answers at face value; dig down beneath the surface to find out what values are at the base of what they want.  Once you have an idea about the other person's values and what's most important to them, it's much easier to relate them to your own values and identify ways you can work together for mutual satisfaction. 

~Four – Be Gentle With Yourself~

When you're struggling with a relationship, self-doubt and recriminations can often aggravate a situation. While trying to sort things out, it's very common for the past to creep in and trigger that little voice in your head to start whining, complaining, judging, and criticizing the relationship. You tend to focus on how the other person is acting, how you're acting, how it's been in the past, etc. You've probably also become resigned to the idea that things will never change and may be depressed about what the future holds. 

This is a common reaction, but the trick here is to avoid taking the things that the little voice in your head says personally. Remember this the next time you start feeling discouraged, "everything that everyone does or says (including this little voice in your head) is in support of something they value; they are trying to meet some need." Instead of giving in to what your inner voice is saying, ask yourself: "What do I need that is causing me to think this way?" Try to get underneath what you're saying and identify what you value that is missing in the situation. 

In other words, be gentle with yourself. The point here is that you commit to taking the time you need so that you can keep your attention focused on what you value, your deepest desires for the relationship, and creating mutually satisfying outcomes with the other person.

By focusing on these four principles, you can actively improve your relationships from the inside out. If you're interested in other self help, communication, and relationship enhancing tips tools and techniques sign up for our free thought-provoking and motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series at: http://www.FocusedAttention.com.

Or visit us at: http://www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com

The summer is here and it's a time when many go off to play. And that's okay...
But the really cool students use this time to learn and gear up for the fall so they can create even more success in their lives for the rest of the year and beyond!
So for you really cool students, guess what?

You are invited to enroll in an 
extraordinary Summer School geared specifically towards your unique needs as a woman. 

http://tinyurl.com/2wst9g8

Whether you're an entrepreneur, a would-be entrepreneur, a career woman or a woman ready to "super-charge" her life for more success...

Communication is the key to success in every area of your life!
It's something all of us encounter... You're told you simply need to be great at whatever it is you do and the rest will be taken care of. Right?

Sigh. If only.

In addition to being great at what you do, you need to know about all sorts of other things including:
How to Increase Your Personal Power
How to Get Rid of Self-Sabotage for Good
How to Gain Credibility in Your Area of Expertise
How to Build and Maintain Great Relationships

Wouldn't it be great if you could just go to one place and 
learn everything you needed to know?  

Well now there is such a course!  

Click here to register http://tinyurl.com/2wst9g8

Learning how to communicate for success will give you the extra edge you need to thrive and that's what you get with The Assertiveness Basics E-Course! 

In this e-Course you will discover How to:

• Communicate in assertive ways!
• Negotiate difficult situations!
• Own your anger without allowing your emotions to control you! Acknowledge and respect your feelings!
• Gain the respect of colleagues, competitors, loved one and friends!
• Develop a community of support!

And that’s just a fraction of what you’ll discover inside this e-course. Here's what else:

	6 LIVE weekly Webinars / Phone calls
	Unlimited Email Support for 2 months with me
	6 Weekly Lessons delivered directly to your email in-box
	6 Weekly Audio downloads

Go here to Register http://tinyurl.com/2wst9g8
 
This course is practice-based and for a limited time I'm offering you group coaching time with me for 6 weeks at an affordable price $149! 

This Summer Communication Course for Women begins 
Wednesday, July 14, and runs  for six weeks. Get this 
written into your calendar now!  

"See" you in class!  

 

Recently I got an email from a woman concerned whether or not her relationship with her boyfriend can or will last as she adopts a more vegan and raw foods diet as she says that he (the boyfriend) eats  a lot of meat especially red meat and fried foods and highly desires to continue to eat meat.

As I've journeyed through this experience of having a vibrant high energy diet full of live foods and juices, I've come to the realization that everything else in my life and reality must adhere to those same principles so I've noticed that personally everyone especially my mate must as well have a similar diet and thus a similar mindset.  I say this for a number of reasons.  One being as though most people who eat meat and who eat a lot of meat have what I call a meat mindset in which they cannot foresee eating a plate of food without some form of animal indigestible protein which is a problem because that means they are not open-minded and therefore blocked in some ways.  They also probably struggle with other ares of their life such as self-worth as a diet full of a lot of flesh foods and especially fried foods is the #1 cause of most preventable diseases.  So if you are eating to live and he is eating to die, these are two energies working against each other.

This could cause problems in your relationship as you continue to grow on this path as you will notice if you continue this journey that eating a mostly live foods diet naturally lends itself to opening up the mind, body, and spirit to higher levels of spiritual ascension.  This opening up could lend itself to so many forms and possibilities that you may not be aware of or even prepared for.    If you study any of the greatest teachers of humanity throughout history, you will understand that the way to ascension was through the physical vessel in which they knew the body had to operate at its most vibrant and radiant energetic level as possible meaning that a vibrant diet and fasting and cleansing was key to achieving this outcome. 

As you grow and journey, you will notice that your entire life will change.  Your friends will change, your priorities will change, your career may even change, your finances may change, the places you visit may change, the movies you choose to watch may change, your language may change, and especially your programming,and therefore your mate may even change.

On a personal note, I do know of many couples where one person is vegetarian or vegan and the other is not, but the one person who is not vegetarian or vegan is also very open-minded as to his or her food choices and they have a high level of respect and even admiration for the other person who chooses not to eat flesh foods. On another note, I know of some couples where one person eats meat and the other person doesn't and there is always conflict when going to social events or out to dinner as the other person who eats meat will either make comments about his or her diet or make fun of them.  This is extremely disrespectful and a waste of one's time and energy as the person who is making fun of the other person is not taking into consideration that his or her mate really values his or her health.  

If you want to keep your relationship and also keep true to yourself with learning how to eat better, the best thing to do is to focus on you and what your mind, body, and spirit needs.  He is not the last man on earth and he may actually see how you may change and want to change his diet as well or he may not.  Either way is not wrong or right.  Change is inevitable and consistent and its always working on  your side. 

Do you have relationship issues that you want to work out? Would you like to get along better with the people in your life? In the personal growth and self-help fields, there's a lot of talk about core values. Most of the teachers and coaches will tell you to identify your personal values in order to find direction and purpose for your life.

 This is true, but there are other reasons for discovering your personal values that are essential for creating a happy life and successful relationships. In this article, you'll discover why we don't just automatically know what our core values are, and how to use your newly discovered personal core values as building blocks to create the life and the relationships that you've always wanted.

You may have heard of a book, written by Robert Fulghum, called, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." While the book is both cleverly written and humorous, there are some serious truths beneath the cute exterior. Some of the things he talks about learning in kindergarten include:

•    Share
•    Play fair
•    Put things back where you found them
•    Clean up your own mess
•    Say you're sorry if you hurt someone.

You might think the lessons above are rather obvious, but at their heart, these are profoundly important understandings. Of course we all learned them at a surface level in kindergarten, but no one told us why acting in these ways is so important—we were never made to understand the values that are embedded within these behaviors.

What would be possible if, in kindergarten, instead of being told, "Nice little girls and boys share things with each other." we were taught these behaviors by being asked questions such as, "Is sharing important to you?" "How does it feel when you share something with other people and they seem so happy?" or "Do you like it when people share things with you?"

Imagine what could happen if we were asked to look inside and recognize how these behaviors enrich our lives? How different would the world be if children were taught what was important about acting in these ways, and how their choices could positively affect their lives as well as everyone around them?

Unfortunately, in our society there is very little attempt to align cultural values embedded within these behaviors with our personal values. We are raised in a culture where these behaviors are taught to us using a system of punishment and reward. You either do it or you will be punished!

From a very young age we are trained to focus our attention on figuring out who is good, who is bad, who is right, who is wrong, and what is appropriate, or inappropriate behavior. "If you don't say you're sorry, you are bad and wrong." "Share everything, play fair, put things back where you found them, clean up your own mess," and on and on it goes.

We are taught that doing these things makes us good little boys and girls. And if you don't do as you're told or do something else instead, you're punished and told that you're bad and wrong.

The concepts we learn in kindergarten, and the methods used to teach them, cause us to interact with one another in very predictable ways. Even as adults, when someone doesn't share, play fair, or put things away, there are consequences. They might be judged as inappropriate or inconsiderate.  They could be criticized for not being a good friend, neighbor, brother or daughter. In extreme cases, they may even end up alienated from their community or family.

But there's good news... at any point you can decide to make sure your actions are a reflection of your personal values rather than an attempt to avoid consequences. To do this:

1.    Look inside and discover your personal values.
2.    Investigate whether your actions are in harmony your personal values.
3.    Recognize how your actions can enrich your life and the life of others.
4.    Turn your attention away from right and wrong thinking.
5.    Think about the values that may be motivating other people's actions.

How Do You Take These Actions?

To begin living in harmony with your personal values, you must first know what they are. You can discover your personal values in many ways. One way is by asking yourself questions such as: "What is most important to me?" "What is the one thing I would miss in my life above all else?" Once you have your answers, distill them down to the quality that defines them. Another, more structured, way is to participate in a standardized values exercise. You can get one as our gift by visiting our web site. (Find it in the free stuff section.)

Once you have identified your personal values, the next step is to investigate whether the actions you've been taking are in harmony with those values. Is sharing in harmony with values you hold dear? Is playing fair important to you? Why is cleaning up your own mess something you personally value? Start answering these questions for yourself. Make sure that all your habitual actions are in harmony with your personal values. If they are, you will discover a renewed excitement about taking these actions. And if you should discover that some of the actions you were taking are not in harmony with your newfound personal values, it's time to re-examine whether you want to continue taking that action.

Once you have examined your current behaviors, you can look forward to the future. Each time a new choice becomes available, it will be easy to determine how this action will enrich your life and the life of the other people involved. Will it support more closeness and connection? Will it create more trust and intimacy? When you move in the direction of making your life more wonderful, we promise that your happiness will extend to the lives of the people around you.

As we said before, from a very young age we are taught to focus on right-wrong thinking. This thinking creates unpleasant "us" against "them" interactions with the people in your life. Are we playing together so that everyone is having fun? Not with that kind of focus. To start interacting with others so that everyone can be satisfied with the outcome begins by shifting the focus of our attention from who's right and who's wrong, to getting to the values that motivate our actions.

So, the next time somebody does something you don't enjoy, don't automatically defend yourself and justify your position. STOP, don't take it personally, and remember that their actions are being motivated by something that they value. Try instead to be curious: "Wow, I wonder what's going on with them?" Imagine yourself in the other person's shoes: "If I said or did that, what might be going on with me?" See if you can guess. This practice will create constructive interactions with the people in your life that end up being more fun and that leave you much more satisfied.

--------------
Any time you're ready to learn more about living in harmony with your values and creating more authentic happiness in your life, sign up for our thought-provoking, motivational Weekly Action Tips eMail series at: http://www.FocusedAttention.com

Each tip offers practical advice for creating and living the life you really want.

Or find other self help and personal development tips, tools and techniques on our blog at: http://www.NewAgeSelfHelp.com

What a content-rich call we had Tuesday night with Joyce Bone!
She shared her inspiring story of how she was able to overcome
being a 'poor' stay-at-home mom who couldn't afford to buy laundry detergent to becoming a highly successful entrepreneur, creating
a legacy for her children. She also gave us step-by-step directions
for positioning ourselves as an expert in our field!

Earlier Tuesday Lourdes Elardo-Gant shared her secrets to
landing the man of your dreams and how to create magical
relationships. She had found herself going from relationship to relationship being abused and mistreated, attracting men with different faces but with the same attitude. She eventually found the man of her dreams and walks you through the steps to do so.

Here's some of the feedback we've received regarding the telesummit so far:
"Lorna, you are amazing...
I wasn't able to make the call but the Lord KNEW I needed to hear this!"

"Lorna, I found the first call with Lourdes great:) I really liked how you make it pertinent to people in relationships too..."

If you haven't yet registered you're missing out! Click on the link and  register Now! http://mpowerurself.com/empoweredwomen.html

It's been an absolutely amazing time with a flurry of activities as I get ready to host my first "Empowered Women Telesummit Series starting June 22 at  2p.m. EST! It runs June 22 -30 and it's going to be off the charts!

Attention all women, women entrepreneurs, would-be entrepreneurs, and anyone who wants to gain the motivation to achieve their goals and dreams...

 ·        Do you feel like you have a big mission to accomplish in life but you’re still struggling with low self-esteem that’s holding you back?

·        Do you want to cash in on the online craze but you’re missing key information?

·        Are you settling for an okay relationship because you don’t think you’ll ever find your “perfect partner”

·        Are you dealing with heartbreak and loss with no idea how to fix things?

·        Are you finding that the harder you work the less productive you seem to be?

Your panel of women experts include best-selling authors, dynamic international speakers, highly successful entrepreneurs in many fields…

Click the link to register and we'll see you on the calls!   http://mpowerurself.com/empoweredwomen.html