All relationships thrive on openness and honesty.   Revealing your true self to others may be challenging but will likely prove ultimately rewarding. The honesty with which you present yourself can help you form personal partnerships and business connections that allow you to be yourself and foster caring and loving relationships.

You open yourself up to a new world of closeness and foster caring and loving relationships when you admit to yourself and to others that you, like all people, have vulnerabilities. Many people, fearing rejection, hide their weaknesses, perhaps even to themselves: denial. By doing that, they may be limiting wonderful interpersonal connections.   It is only when you are honest about your emotional needs and unique vulnerabilities that you can begin seeking out those individuals who have the strength to fulfill your needs and accept you for who you are. 

If you or someone you care about is experiencing blocks in these areas, relationship coaching can help.

Spring Special!

$99 POWER HOUR! 
with 4, 6, 12 week Peak Performance Success and Relationship Coaching  packages available for full manifestation! 

Contact Eileen now for details: 
            516 623 4353      
eileen@balanceandpower.com 

Related article: 

Building Strong Relationships 

Many   competent people "self-sabotage" themselves every day by overreacting emotionally and hurting their relationships — both at work and at home.  They stay stuck in habits that hurt them, such as procrastination,  disorganization, avoiding conflict ... the list goes on and on.

 On the other end of the spectrum,  professionals can respond to adversity with a level head — even if they're ready to "blow a fuse".  

 Often what they do differently is adapt to workplace changes — even those that are tough to swallow and stick with difficult challenges when solutions don't come easily.  They follow through on plans  in order to turn "good intentions" into reality ... and meet more goals.  They are able to develop the steady self-control it takes to stand up for yourself and deal with conflicts positively and break on-the-job habits that hurt you, like procrastination, disorganization, and others.

You can bring more discipline into your personal and professional life by creating healthier routines and relationships.  Maybe you are stuck - and either don't have "a clue" or have many "clues" and don't know what to do.  Here are a few ways to create a better emotional relationship with yourself-  which will surely transfer to others- just give these a try:)!:

 

• Write down three things - people - situations you are grateful for each day
• Write personal affirmations and place them on your dashboard , on computer and in the bathroom
• Practice effective communication- be assertive v. reactive
• Leave the scene, when possible if you find your stress/frustration/anger quotient rising and take a "time-out" to do any of the above! and/or punch the ceiling,
  go into the car and scream, do EFT (emotional freedom techniques, tapping)
• Practice relaxation and/or meditation on a regular basis 
   
  
   
• Exercise often
• Enjoy nature
• Have fun! and Smile :) 
• Eat and sleep well

 

All the best with this- it takes determination, perseverance and internal motivation to succeed at anything.  Trust that these techniques help and practice them~ and then write your own success story!  I'm listening...
when you contact me for a complimentary consult 

BalanceandPower
 

Relationships are really important and basic to how you feel- aren't they?
Building strong relationships at home, with family, friends and at work are key to our well being and stress levels.  Good relationships correlate with happiness and productivity.   High stress and anger levels impact on all relationships and vice versa! Perhaps you have a toxic relationship going and need some coaching to feel empowered to let it go or to change it up. Remember, you must have an intention to change your own patterns; it is impossible to change someone else's.  However, you can be a great role model or mentor.
                                                                   

Relationship coaching is intended to help people in any relationship such as married couples, unmarried couples, family members or  co-workers.   A relationship is always, like our lives, in a state of movement and change. A relationship coach  helps you maximize that change in a positive way, places you more in control of it and of how you feel.  Looking at events and what a person says in a different way, understanding different styles of communication and behavior and creating  new perspectives and reframing some negative situations can help you reconnect with the positive aspects in a  relationship and empower you to let go of the old patterns and perhaps, the relationship.

My journey as a Peak Performance Success Coach (certified in Life and Career Coaching) and a Certified Anger Management Specialist has brought me into the role of helping individuals, couples, families and business teams into moving forward and building strong relationships where perhaps there was only negativity and discord before.  

I offer a comlimentary telephone or Skype consult:  www.balanceandpower.com   516 623 4353

This is one of my favorite lists by one of this generation's wisemen:
Deepok Chopra.

1.       Listen to your body’s wisdom, which expresses itself through the signals of comfort and discomfort.  When choosing a certain behavior, ask your body, “How do you feel about this?”  If the body sends a signal of physical or emotional distress, watch out!  If the body responds with joy and comfort – go for it!

2.       Live in the moment.  The present is the only moment you have.  Have your attention on what  IS and see its fullness in every moment.  Have psychological acceptance totally and completely that this present moment is as it should be.  How could it be otherwise?  This moment is as is because the universe is as is.  Don’t struggle against the universe.

3.       Take time to be silent, to quiet the internal dialogue, to be guided by your intuition, rather nthan the externally imposed interpretations of what is and what is not good.

4.       Relinquish your need for approval.  There is great freedom in that choice.

5.       When you find yourself reacting with anger or violence to any  person, situation or circumstance- recognize that you struggle only against yourself.  Don’t be so hard on yourself.

6.       Know that those you react to strongly whether you love them or hate them, are reflections of yourself.  Use the mirror of relationship to guide your own spiritual revolution.

7.       Shed the burden of judgement- you will feel much lighter.

8.       Don’t contaminate your body with toxins: food, drink or toxic emotions.

9.       Replace fear-motivated behavior by love-motivated behavior.

10.    Understand that the physical world mirrors the process in our own consciousness.  Cleaning up the environment and getting rid of toxic wastes and dumps that contaminate our earth, its rivers and oceans is worthwhile, but even more important is the flushing out of toxic ideas that contaminate the human mind.

Reprinted from Creations Magazine Spring ’95

I have studied these principles and apply them in my life.  Being human, I am do not always do this :). I help my clients to live them as well.  I explore many of them in my interactive manual  SOAR! with Resilience™   and tell success stories of my own as well as clients who have gone on to be happy and SOAR!  You may contact me for a complimentary consult: BalanceandPower  516 623 4353



   Related Article: Building Your Business With Tools From the Angels. 

• Release destructive anger
• Let go of resentment
• Forgive yourself and others
• Break free from self-limiting beliefs
• Find self-acceptance and self-love
• Enhance your relationships with family, friends and co-workers
• Gain confidence
• Open your heart to allow peace and goodness flow

Do you need help with this? Contact Eileen for a complimentary consult:
www.balanceandpower.com    and find out how you can learn to
 SOAR! with Resilience™ Book

As you go through your regular daily routine it can be hard to take a few moments to do something nice for yourself. Taking time to care for YOU is however, an important part of recognizing you deserve love, are worthy of goodness and will encourage others to treat you well in return.

Each simple thing that you do can have a very positive affect on your sense of self and your well being! Try out one or two of these this week and enjoy the happiness boost that you give to yourself!

1.) Cook "comfort food"- Comfort food doesn't have to be unhealty or packed with calories! When you're feeling the need for a bit of nurturing make something that your Mom or Grandmom used to fix! Chicken & dumplin's is one of my favorites! Mmmm....Make enough that you can indulge in more than one meal so that you won't have to cook again for a day! You'll love the way it makes you feel and it will give you a break in the kitchen for a bit!

2.) Indulge in aromatherapy- Scents trigger memories that can uplift your spirit in wonderful ways! Treat yourself to a reed diffuser, new candle or even a new body spray! Lavender is relaxing, ylang ylang induces feelings of romance and anything citrus boosts energy levels! Take a few minutes to sniff a variety of scents and pick out the one that suits your positive intentions! (*Shopping Hint- Wal-Mart has a amazing assortment of scents in their craft section! You can pick your glass bottle, your oil and your reeds to create a personalized diffuser for under $10! I have found the oil quality is fairly good and really does diffuse throughout a large room! My favorite, the Jasmine and White Gardenia oil. Oh yum!) If your budget is TIGHT put a few cinnamon sticks or cloves in a pot and simmer them slowly on the stove! You can do this with rosemary too!

3.) Use your local library for fun, Free treats for YOU!- Dive into a good book, relax with a movie or download a digital book copy for your ereader! I have been amazed recently by the resources available from my local library! Spend the day rushing off to an exotic location with an adventure story, catch up on your favorite TV shows through their DVD series copies or even find an audio book to listen to while pampering yourself in the tub! Whatever you choose you can't go wrong with free and fun entertainment for YOU time!

4.) Sleep in or go to bed early! How much sleep do you get each night? Most people only manage an average of only 5 hours. Indulge your mind, body and spirit in a rejuvenation day by allowing yourself a day to catch up on rest! You will find yourself energized and be refreshed in spirit as you take on the tasks of a new day!

5.) Unplug for a day! Even though it may not seem possible, the world can and will continute to function if you take a day off! All of the wonderful tools which keep us connected, cell phones, computers and more, do take a toll on our energy levels. The EMF's that are emitted from electronices can be draining! If you have been feeling unusually tired try unplugging for a few hours and focusing on something you have been longing to do! Paint a picture, go for a walk or even sit in a cafe' sipping something delicious! Your body and mind with thank you!


Be creative and schedule time to spend with you! As you recognize you are worthy of treating yourself well you raise your vibration! As you raise your vibration you attract things and people of a higher quality! Indulging yorself isn't a selfish act it is anecessary one! You deserve it!

Each and every person desires to create a connection with others. Be it a spiritual, romantic or friendly connection there is something to be said about sharing our lives with friends and family. The key to any successful relationship is to FIRST develop a loving relationship with yourself. When you love yourself and treat yourself well, others will take notice and treat you in kind.

How do you begin to form a loving relationship with yourself? By taking the time to look within and discover who you truly are. Each and every person has amazing gifts to share with the world. Discovering your talents and self worth will open up the doors to creating supportive and successful relationships. As you embark on this journey of self discovery you will in time understand your motivations, dreams, desires, what makes you happy and truly you. The important thing is to become aware of your value. Set aside time to do something nice for yourself daily and cultivate a loving relationship with YOU. As you begin to acknowledge your talents, realize that you are worthy of goodness and love and recognize the Divine light that shines within, you will begin to attract positive and loving people into your life.

Each day take a few moments to relax in a quiet location. Even 15 minutes will do as a beginning! Sit quietly and open your mind to creating a vision of your ideal life. What do you see taking place, who do you see sharing this life with you? As you form a mental picture you will then begin to shift to a place of self awareness and understanding. If sitting quietly doesn't appeal to you, take the time to journal each day. A journal is a wonderful way to open up to your inner thoughts and desires.

Each moment that you devote to discovering your authentic self is a deposit in the bank of your self-worth. There is no other person like you and the world will be a better place when you share your unique talents with others. Once you cultivate an authentic and loving relationship with yourself you will begin to attract positive and supportive relationships into your life.

Appreciate yourself, recognize your worth and share the wonder that is you with the world!

Once upon a time prince charming showed up on his white horse and off you went; visions of happily ever after dancing through your head. The house in the burbs with a two car garage, 2.5 kids, and the white picket fence complete the dream.

In the blink of an eye 10 years have gone by. Now you are living sleepless parental nights, growing concerns over money, power struggles, late night working hours, sexless days turn into sexless weeks and your fairy tale is officially a nightmare.

All conversations are heated and at the very least you walk away with chest pains and feelings of disgust for your partner. Your storybook life has turned you into a prisoner. You hurt. You ache physically, you’re tired emotionally, and you are feeling abandon. Prince Charming has turned into Frankenstein! As life goes by you throw yourself deeper into being a mom, the top achiever at work, or the “fixer” to your girlfriends lives.

You find yourself spending way more money than you can afford to and to your surprise you daydream about what it would be like with another man. You find yourself making excuses to avoid life. All signs it’s time to STOP.. BREATHE.. and REDISCOVER YOURSELF!

I am here to tell you there is hope and it’s easily accessible, in fact it’s located directly inside of you. You can’t buy this, you can’t borrow a friends and you can’t read a book to find it. There is a magic spot inside of you, no ladies the OTHER magic spot, where all your answers reside.

I am going to tell you in 5 easy steps how to find your magic spot! When you follow this recipe you will feel instant change happen. You will begin to desire time with yourself and solitude will bring you happiness. Answers appear and what grows inside of you feels softer, kinder, and more manageable.

How to access your MAGIC SPOT:

• Get Quiet – place yourself in surroundings that are soothing and hold special meaning to you.

• Take inventory – Identify the one issue that is the loudest; one issue that keeps you awake at night or follows you throughout your day. Gently release the others.

Imagine you are packing them away on a shelf or tying them to a balloon that is carrying them far away for now. No worries they will return you are not ignoring them forever.

• Drop Inside – Simple ask yourself what wants to be revealed with regard to issue you identified – what does it want to say to you? Allow yourself not to censor what you are feeling and thinking.

• Become the observer – Allow yourself to “sit with” the feeling/ thought. Be mindful of how it shows up in your actions/behaviors. Just watch, do not become overwhelmed with the thought. You are merely an observer.

• Practice acceptance – allow whatever is there to be there; treat it as if it were your friend (in reality it is). When we judge or avoid what IS we create more of the same.

Allow whatever is presenting itself to simple be. Talk to the feeling like you would your best friend. Be compassion, understanding, and accepting of what you are feeling. No running, no excuses.. just accept and allow. After you experience the shift (it doesn’t feel so heavy) ask what your next course of action should be.

Be mindful to really surrender to the process. This inner voice will never cause panic or make you feel afraid. If those feelings come in simply ask them to leave. Breathe through it and shift them out. Don’t wait one more minute. Try this process today and begin to experience the joy you were meant to experience.

Veronica or Ronnie as her clients affectionately call her is an International Relationship Coach, and Speaker. She supports her clients in designing relationships that sizzle. Her style is intuitive and informal. Her results are impactful and life-changing!

Veronica uses her witty, warm, charming, and sassy sense of humor to help clients relax, release and get in touch with what really matters to them Veronica resides in Pennsylvania with her husband. She has two adult sons. www.designyourrelationships.com

Save on advertising costs and have fun doing it, by building strong relationships?

Building relationships takes time and nurturing. Long term relationships are built over time, caring and sharing. The concept is the same for both personal and professional relationship building. Advertising costs can be enormous, and also takes a lot of time, so let’s look at better ways to spend our time and save money doing it.

Just like a plant or a tree has basic needs in order to grow, so do human relationships require nurturing in order to grow and develop into long term rewards. A plant needs water, air, soil, sunshine, fertilizer and a lot of nurturing, or loving, for some plant lovers.

Basic Requirements

All human beings have the same needs, except they come in various shapes and sizes. Whether it is a personal friendship, a love relationship, or a business relationship, they all need nurturing. This takes time. It is a process, which usually requires patience. Somehow, in today’s fast paced world of activity, we lose patience and consequently, lose valuable potential relationships. Processes take time to implement for successful outcomes. Getting to know your love partner or your business associates/colleagues, is a process, and takes time, but ultimately, brings you the rewards you want and deserve. Build bridges, so you have a place to meet next time. Build memories, so you have mutual topics to discuss on the bridge where you meet.

We need to engage in conversations, interact with each other, share interests, spend time with each other, understand the other’s needs and where he/she is coming from, before we can contribute something to him or her. It doesn’t all come together through a tweet or two, or over one cup of coffee. Unfortunately, it takes a little more attention and time, and we as a society feel we can’t afford that time, as our list of “to-do’s” is way too long in one day. Where can we find the time?

Delivering the "Goods" or Connecting With Each Other- Which is MoreFun?

  Well, the truth is, it doesn’t take a lot of time at one time. It takes a few minutes over a period of time. It takes consistency, follow up, remembering things that were said, and taking note, so next time we engage, we can really connect, as opposed to just delivering “the goods”. Delivering “the goods” is efficient, but is it “effective”? Connecting with each other is what makes the difference in building long term relationships.

Here Are a Few Tips to Remember:


* Ask general (not too specific) questions about their family, background, where they live, and what kinds of things they are interested in

* Show interest and use positive facial expressions to demonstrate that, which encourages them to keep talking or sharing with you

* Listen, really listen, and see if you can resonate with what is being said (Don’t talk over someone, it’s impolite –they will remember you for the  wrong reasons)

* As you get to know each other better, offer to help in some way, either in community, social or business – refer to something you discussed previously in another conversation, so they know you are paying attention

* Ask how you can refer others to increase their business

* Follow up within a week or two to keep the memory fresh, and keep your word, if you agreed to have coffee or lunch

* Don’t get too “officious” as we are all looking to relax with someone- so just a simple smile helps them relax with YOU!

* Overall, have fun, as it’s about making friends – we can never have enough friends in the world- FRIENDS are there to serve!

 “Take life seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously!”
Og Mandino

 

I have added a wonderful tool to my coaching toolbox: Anger Management with EFT (emotional freedom techniques, meridian tapping).
We cannot deny our emotions as they are part of what makes us human.   However, we can change the patterns, triggers and ways that we express them.  We are not the victim of our emotions. There are patterns to every emotion that, if we can identify them, we can interrupt the pattern and change our behavior with EFT before it causes extreme damage in relationship or to society.

We each have a pattern of anger.  Some of us express it when it is still small. Some push it down so deep, too scared to express it, and  experience it as disease.  And some bottle it up until it bursts  like a volcano surprising everyone with the intensity.  These individuals sometimes do not even
have a clue that anything was wrong.

I’m going to focus on the last pattern, as this is what has happened with many of my clients, or with their partners or ex'es.   The latter played the victim and need help with self-esteem issues.   As children, some of the angry adults had been labeled as having “a bad temper”.  Let's take a look at how this pattern of anger develops.

Sometimes the anger has been brewing throughout the day from one incident early in the day which is annoying. Another a little later on that added fuel to the fire.  So when receiving one more perceived assault, even an actually minor one, anger powerfully unloads, usually misdirected.  Or, perhaps, one individual is  progressively "getting to" the other in a negative way by "nagging", being judgemental, overprotective,  jealous, to name a few.  That keeps happening until a "last straw" is reached.

When the anger outburst prone individual  takes a "time-out"   to apply EFT at the first perceived slight, the first inkling of annoyance or frustration and  is able to get deep into and under the anger then the anger outburst prone individual may be able to voice  concerns with out the associated outburst.

Here is an  Anger Management EFT script that I hope will help you or a loved one as it has helped my clients change an anger pattern.  First you need to start with how you feel in yourself about the anger. Start and continue tapping on the EFT tapping points  while saying the phrases:

Karate Chop:	I was so angry that I can’t accept myself. I’m disappointed in myself. I should be better than this. They didn’t deserve to be the brunt of my anger. I feel so ugly and ashamed at what I did. I don’t know if I will ever be able to change this. I feel like I have no control over my anger. I don’t know if I can ever accept myself when I can get so angry.
Head:	This anger feels more powerful than me
Eyebrows:	I don’t feel like I can control it
Side of Eyes:	Part of me likes the feeling of power that comes with the anger
Under Eyes:	Part of me is so ashamed
Under Nose:	I can’t really accept myself when I can get this angry
Chin Point:	I remember the look on their faces when I was angry
Collarbones:	The fear in their faces, I don’t want them to be afraid of me
Under Arms:	I’m so afraid that the damage done can’t be undone. I don’t know if I deserve to be free of this guilt
Wrist Points:	I don’t believe anyone can really love me when I have this anger within me; I can’t really love myself when I know it’s there.

Continue to tap for a few rounds to cover everything you feel and say about and to yourself about how you behaved.

Now we will use EFT to work on the pattern around the anger.

Karate Chop:	Even though it feels like I have no control over my anger, I choose to notice the way it develops. I have a pattern of anger than can be changed. Even though I have a habit of being angry, I choose to bring to my conscious mind the way my anger develops, so that I can heal it.
Head:	What is the first thing that happens in my body when I’m starting to feel angry?
Eyebrows:	What do I say to myself that tells me I’m getting angry?
Side of Eyes:	Where in my body do I notice the fire of my anger building?
Under Eyes:	There are a number of steps to my anger and I choose to pay attention and notice them
Under Nose:	What is the very first thing that happens that tells me I’m getting angry
Chin Point:	I give my self permission to stop a conversation when I notice the first indicators of anger so that I can do some EFT and deal with the feeling
Collarbones:	As I notice my anger pattern, I gain power over it
Under Arms:	There are a number of things that occur before my anger bursts out, and I choose to notice each of them
Wrist Points:	This pattern has been unconscious until now but I’m making it conscious so that I can change it.

Notice  how your anger builds helps to unravel the mystery of full blown explosions that nobody sees coming. You then have the ability to notice what is triggering your anger and clear those individual triggers. Maybe it’s a tone of voice or a look you receive which starts to get you angry. So do some tapping on the trigger e.g.

Karate Chop:	I felt put down by their sarcastic tone of voice. I felt put down and disrespected by their tone of voice. It reminds me of being talked down to as a child. I don’t want to be talked to like that because I’m now an adult
Head:	Feeling talked down to like a child
Eyebrows:	Feeling disrespected
Side of Eyes:	That tone of voice that gets me angry
Under Eyes:	I want to release all reference events for this trigger
Under Nose:	I’m clearing this trigger for my anger
Chin Point:	That tone of voice that still gets me angry
Collarbones:	I won’t let anyone talk to me that way
Under Arms:	I want to stand up for myself without having to get angry. I am an adult who can express myself
Wrist Points:	As I clear this trigger, I beginning to accept myself even more.

There may be more than one trigger to your anger so continue to tap on each trigger that contributes to your anger pattern.

You may still have shame, guilt, and regret about what happened so here is a final round to do some more clearing.

Karate Chop:	Even though I’m still ashamed at getting so angry, I’m beginning to accept myself. Even though I regret what I did and wish that I could go back and change things, I’m open to accepting myself and the mistakes I made as part of being human. I’m doing my best to improve my behavior, identifying patterns of anger, and clearing the triggers.
Head:	Remaining shame for what happened
Eyebrows:	Remaining regret for how I said what I did
Side of Eyes:	Remaining sadness at the hurt I caused
Under Eyes:	Remaining shame, regret, and sadness
Under Nose:	I choose to notice my anger patterns and diffuse them as soon as I do
Chin Point:	I choose to be forgiving of myself as I do my best to change my behavior
Collarbones:	I’m glad I know how to tap so that I can clear my anger patterns
Under Arms:	I’m learning to access the power within my anger and express it in constructive ways
Wrist Points:	I’m noticing and celebrating even the smallest of improvements in my behavior and I’m becoming even more loving and accepting of myself.

 

This tapping session is an in depth exploration and release of negative feelings that are often surrounding angry outbursts.  You may need further guidance; this may have only opened a door and there is still lots more to acknowledge and release, which is what EFT is about.  Contact me to arrange a complimentary consult for sessions via video skype, telephone, or face to face in Long Island or Queens, NY.  I incorporate EFT into my  Anger-Stress Management Groups at several locations in Long Island and Queens and am certified by the US Courts as an Anger Management Specialist.