Motivational Whisperers

Ok, so we all know Keith Urban is sexy, hot and super YUMMY! So, when I found out he was coming to Los Angeles, I knew I was going to be there.  I’ve seen him 3 other times before and he’s great in concert, so this time I wanted to be front and center.  I wanted to be that close so I could see that dazzling smile, that twinkle in his eye and most importantly, those incredibly sexy fingers romancing his guitar strings!  I wanted to see him sweat, grind and dance while he, I imagined, sang personally to me. 

Those are the things I wanted from this concert.  What I got was that and a whole lot more.

We bought the tickets a month in advance and didn’t realize that the concert fell on the evening of the Jewish High Holy day, Yom Kippur.  The people we were going with are Jewish.  They were going to have to “break the fast” before they could join us, so that would delay us getting to see the opening act, Jake Owen. By a strange coincidence, Jake Owen used to date my BFF, Playboy Playmate Carrie Stevens.  I’ve met him through her and thought he was a jerk, and told him so in not so many words.  So missing the opening act didn’t bother me.  Although, the current hit of his, “Barefoot Blue Jean Night” does have a catchy melody and is pretty good.  He is also HOT, not as hot as Keith Urban, but hot none the less.  Unfortunately, the second he opens his mouth, he’s also arrogant, egotistical and star-struck by his own image, so he becomes UN-HOT real fast.

Anyway, we finally get to the concert an hour late and as we walk in to Staples Center, we hear the crowd screaming and Keith Urban say to the audience, “Good evening Los Angeles!”  So me and my girlfriend start an all out sprint to the sign that reads “Access to Floor Seats”. 

I was all decked out in my fancy-dancy cowboy boots and they have these amazingly beautiful zippers that go up the inside of my calf.  At the top of the zippers are beautiful metal, rose shaped zipper pulls.  Well, my two rose zipper pulls got entangled, my legs stuck together and at a full gate, I went flying in to the air!  I landed face first on to the cement floor with my knee landing second and then my hands.  I remember my mom always saying to me, “if you ever fall, always WATCH THE FACE, brace yourself, put  your hands down first!”  I didn’t stand a chance though, my arms got pushed out of the way by other fans running as fast as they could to their own seats.  So face first it was.

I was dazed and in so much pain I couldn’t get up.  Security came, then they called the paramedics with a wheel chair and on and on.  ALL I kept thinking about was, Keith Urban is now on his third song, I’VE GOT TO GET IN THERE!!!!

I finally broke free from security, hobbled my way down 3 flights of stairs to the floor seats and limped up to the mosh crowd that had gathered around the stage.  Turns out Urban wanted to have a “club like” type of concert.  He had told his security guards to let the audience crowd around the stage and in the aisles.  I saw a small hole in the mass of people and went for it, now my supposedly 13th row seats, turned into 4th row seats, although no one was sitting.  Which was a good thing because I couldn’t bend my knee at this point.

I stood and enjoyed the concert immensely.  He even took a huge drink of water and spit it out all over the girls that were directly in front of him and they ate it up.  He brought fans up on stage to sing with him and gave his guitar to another fan. And then the “icing on the cake” happened.  Keith Urban threw his wrist band into the crowd and it landed right at my FEET!!!!  It hurt to bend over to pick it up and just as I got it, a much larger “beer guzzling, cowgirl type chick” snatched it from my hands!  But for a moment it was mine :-)

John Fogerty joined Urban joined for the Fogerty written song “Proud Mary, Rolling On The River” and Jack Black sang the Charlie Daniels song, “The Devil Went Down To Georgia.”  It was AWESOME; pain, bruises and crushed knee cap, it was AWESOME!

Today my wake up call rang loudly in my ear at 4:45 a.m.  I'm working on the new TV show "Suburgatory" starring Cheryl Hines from "Curb Your Enthusiasm", Ana Gasteyer from "Saturday Night Live", and Jeremy Sisto from "Law and Order".

You would think with such an impressive cast that ABC, would air this funny new show.  Would have enough budget to provide hair stylists and make up artists for the cast. But no such luck. Here I am at 4:45 in the morning trying to doll myself up to "look like" an upscale PTA mom. 

Well guess what Mr. Casting Director, I AM an upscale PTA mom.  OK, well I've never attended any of the actual meetings, but I did pay the membership dues. I was forced to, if I didn't then the school doesn't provide you with a school directory.  

Anyway, back to Suburgatory (a cross between Suburbia and Purgatory.)  This set seems to be a bit of both.  What really threw me off though was working so closely with the great Ana Gasteyer. I thought it was going to be the highlight of my day.  Ana is really funny but not nearly as funny as Cheryl Hines. 

I'm a huge Seinfeld fan and can probably quote almost every episode. But when Larry David branched off and did Curb Your Enthusiasm, try as I may, I never got into it. It wasn't funny.  He wasn't funny and she was only as funny as Larry Davids character would allow her to be. But on this show, she's hilarious!

We’re taking a break from shooting an evening scene of a PTA mixer and one of the “moms” shows up with a stripper pole. She's supposed to teach us how to exercise and strip at the same time. Well Cheryl jumps up on that thing and gives it her best shot. Off camera she is immediately replaced by a look-a-like Cheryl who is the real deal; a true professional pole dancer, flown straight in from Las Vegas.  The scene is really funny, but as with most television shows, they did about 20 takes. 

So we all got to watch the professional stripper pole dance A LOT.  Then the real Cheryl had to finish off the pole dance scene with her tush in the air just as many times. Pretty entertaining actually, I think I learned a few moves.

The one actor that was a big disappointment was my favorite Law and Order man, Jeremy Sisto.  He couldn’t get his lines right and he was super arrogant.  Oh well, that’s Hollywood for you.  Anyway, the show is great and I hope the show sticks around for a long time, MINUS me.   I'm ready to begin shooting my new talk show!   Check out my new website:
www.LuannLee.com