~ My husband Steve and I, college sweethearts, have been through a lot together. We have been marriedforty years and have two beautiful daughters whom we are very proud of. They both have left the nest long ago; Jess (34) living and working in London; Ariel (32) in Madrid. Both settled in Europe for completely different reasons Ariel first for adventure-travel and then settling down and teaching English, living with her Spanish boyfriend. Jessica attended graduate school in London, and decided to stay with her British boyfriend; they’ve now been married for seven years and she holds a position as an administrator within the healthcare system.
Well, I was devastated with their individual decisions to stay in Europe. I’d been “empty-nested” through their college years and work experiences in the United States- but this was different! We’ve always been close with open communication- and they were telling me that it was like they had moved to California- yet it was really different- every time I wanted to have an evening chat they would be sleeping. There was a period of time when I just didn’t “get it”. Then there was 9/11 and that compounded my feelings. Before these turn of events, I’d been really good at visualizing positive outcomes for myself and my family, meditating and moving on from negative thinking.
In the past I was able to “detach” and not be judgmental or disappointed with my decisions my daughters made. These times were different for me- my attitude and my “visualizations” weren’t right. Finally I “got it”. Jess and Ariel were doing what each had visualized for themselves and I needed to be fully behind them as I had been in the past, being their mom and role model. I knew that Steve and I had brought them up to think things through, consider pros and cons and to be aware of problems that may arise from actions. We had to trust them- the wonderful judgment each possesses, a quality that makes us so proud.