For many, the most challenging assertiveness skill is saying "no" with confidence. Knowing that it's the "right" choice when a situation requires it. Some may feel threatened by a loss of respect, love, responsibility or take on guilt when saying "no" to someone at home or work. It is possible to say "no" with confidence and style following these five key points:
1. Be honest and direct.
2. Don't make excuses
3. Remember that saying "no" shows respect.
4. Not saying no when it is indicated (by your circumstance and intuition) can cause even worse damage than acting yes.
5. Listen to your intuition about saying no and do not let positive opportunities pass you by by automatically saying no!
We are raised to please people and we need to be sensitive to
their feelings. However, we also have
responsibilities to ourselves including respecting our own
boundaries- with time, energy and whatever is being
When there are overlaps of responsibilities and gray areas of relationships that is fertile ground for conflict. So, before saying "no" ask yourself how you would feel if the person in question turned you down and consider an honest explanation vs. an all out rejection.
When we feel we are "sacrificing" in helping, we develop resentment. It's important to remember that whatever is asked of us is not "the fault" of the person asking and that saying "no" with confidence and style can save a relationship rather than ruining it.
I help people understand when to say no with confidence and style!
Complimentary telephone consult 516 623 4353
Research on this topic also states the following components are crucial for success: 1. Access your Intuition 2. Trust your intuition 3. Communicate assertively 4. Listen well 5. Take action We are all born with intuition so a challenge may be to learn to access that and trust yourself about it!
Personal challenges often arise including negative thinking or simply not trusting "the answers" that come up for you. You may accelerate your learning curve by quieting your mind so that you "hear" or intuit right choices. Develop patience and be aware of not acting "on impulse".
Practice "saying no" to create positive space for yourself and learn how to communicate assertively (not passively or aggressively). Hone your listening skills - to others as well as yourself! And finally, take action when you know the time is right (your intuition will tell you when:)), and without procrastinating- which is always fear based and ditch perfectionism to accomplish something meaningful and "on target."
Anyone with the intention to change and succeed, with guidance can successfully SOAR! with Resilience® I can help you create success and accountability with the success challenges outlined above. My telephone consult-strategy mini session is FREE! firstname.lastname@example.org 516 623 4353 Balance & Power, Inc.
Zap your food cravings with EFT! EFT dissolves blocked energy that results from an upsetting event, thereby changing the powerful negative emotions that cause you to eat out of emotion rather than hunger.
Why EFT Works to Conquer Emotional Eating:
· Food craving can be dissolved immediately (yes, even chocolate!).
· Reduces stress from everyday issues that may cause you to turn to food to soothe anxious feelings.
· Begins to erode negative beliefs and self fulfilling expectations about food and body image.
· Eliminates subconcious need to keep excess weight- as a barrier or cushion.
· Helps identify your personal "triggers" for emotional eating.
· Neutralizes the emotional effects of difficult or traumatic events from your past.
Workshop Saturday April 6
Download the pdf flyer with all the details HERE
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There are times when we all feel like giving up, throwing in the towel, closing our eyes and saying that I have just had enough. It is in these moments that we must RISE UP; KEEP FIGHTING, and PUSH THROUGH THE PAIN! We all have dreams, desires and wants in life but sometimes we are over powered with negative thoughts and actions from ourselves and from others, but WE MUST NOT let our own negative thoughts STOP US from LIVING A LIFE WORTH LIVING, and doing what makes us happy. You can and YOU WILL reach your destination. It may take longer than some, and you may have to TRY HARDER, but NEVER LOSE SIGHT, and STAY STRONG!
The battle of life is, in most cases, fought uphill; and to win
it without a struggle were perhaps to win it without honor. If
there were no difficulties there would be no success; if there
were nothing to struggle for, there would be nothing to be
When was a time that you had to rise up and keep fighting? I
would love to here from you! please leave me a comment below and
always if you feel this message may resonate with someone ,
please pass it on. Thank you.
Keep on Keeping on Everyone
When we WANT SOMETHING we aim for it right? Sometimes, LIFE gets in the way and we lose sight of that DREAM, that GOAL, or that MISSION that we are trying to complete and everything crumbles, right? WRONG! It is then at that moment that we must KEEP PUSHING FORWARD, RE-CENTER OUR FOCUS & RE-NEW OUR FAITH and know that while yes life can be tough at times WE MUST NEVER GIVE UP! You can and will complete your goals, but the only way that this is done is by LOOKING AHEAD and NEVER LOSING SIGHT of the vision that lay before you and most of all NEVER LOOKING BACK at the vision that once was. Our thoughts are very powerful; they tell us whether to be sad, to be happy and are responsible for keeping us motivated. Flooding your mind with positive thoughts will ensure that you STAY FOCUSED ON YOUR DREAM and SHATTER ANY GOAL you ever set!
Do you feel like you are losing sight of your goals or was there a time when you lost sight of your goal and were able to push forward? I would love to here from you! Please leave a comment in the box below and always if you feel this message may resonate with someone, please pass it on. thank you
Keep on Keeping on
Are you struggling to reach your weightloss loss goals and feel that you need an extra push? If you are looking for more support Danny offers a 1 hour motivational breakthrough session! During this session he can help you look at what is holding you back and establish a plan of action to guide you back into feeling more healthy, more happy and more confident!
Anger is one of our most primitive emotions. It always
has, it always will be. It can also be a lifesaver. When
emotions get bottled-up, it puts a tremendous strain on your
health, relationships, family, friends, community and business.
Anger is one way to let the volcano of emotions erupt
without immediate negative consequence, as long as you
know how to handle it, channel it and finally, transform
In addition, if you do not know how, call a buddy, a coach, a mentor or an accountability partner. The idea is to honor those powerful feelings of Anger, so that such energy can be transformed into something even more powerful that will soothe your soul. In a positive way, Anger can contribute to a better version of your future self. I know it is easier said than done, but non-the-less, it is by far a much better emotion than sadness, depression and isolation.
It helps both, your personal and professional life, not to mention how you reach out for help when you need it and believe me, you will. It also helps you FEEL BETTER about whatever is going on. Letting out a little steam will do wonders for your well-being, which at the end of the day, needs to be your focus of attraction. Yes, feeling good about yourself, is paramount, and the better you feel….the better you feel.
- Ì What is making you so Angry?
- Ì Analyze what is at the root of your feelings.
- Ì Was it just one single thing?
- Ì Was it an accumulation of many things? • Are you angry with yourself?
- Ì Are you angry with others?
- Ì Are you angry with everybody?
- Ì What can you do to feel better?
Identify one by one, all the causes. Some may even go back as early as childhood. In fact, many do. A sense of abandonment can also cause Anger to flare up. Any kind of losses, big and small, will trigger Anger to come to the surface. There is quiet Anger, and then there is straightforward rage. The latter can be very dangerous and highly detrimental, to all concerned. How do you use this powerful energy to your advantage?
- Ì Being angry can help you fight back.
- Ì The angrier you are, the more you feel the outrageous indignation.
- Ì Is it worth it?
- Ì However, staying angry may not serve your life’s purpose.
- Ì If you choose to stay angry, how does that help you?
- Ì If not, how can you change it?
- Ì Who do know that can help? (Very important!)
- Ì Identify the roots.
- Ì Channel the anger.
- Ì Transform the energy!
- Ì Then, create a plan! (Yes, even Anger needs a plan to become a better version of it; so ultimately, it can of effective HELP to YOU!)
- v Honor your Anger.
- v Acknowledge what you are feeling.
- v On a scale of 1 to 10, identify how angry you are.
- v Ask for help when you get close to a 7 or 8.
- v Get into the mindset, that whatever is going on, it is NOT your fault.
- v Do not punish yourself.
- v Do not doubt your self-worth.
- v Assume responsibility only for your part, and not someone else.
- v Focus on things that make you feel better.
- v Create a daily routine where every action leads to a better feeling place.
- v No matter what happens, you are a loving being and will always be. Remember that!
- v Anger sometimes comes with a sense of grief! Acknowledge it!
This is probably one of the hardest and MOST personal of all: Forgive yourself. Not because you have done anything wrong, but because you are angry enough to think that you did!
- v Identify.
- v Channelize.
- v Transform.
- v And finally, execute your action plan.
- v But not without: “Letting Go, and Letting God.”
Be gentle to yourself. This is a crucial time in your life, when something as powerful as Anger, can work wonders moving forward.
Related Article: How to over Come Challenges and create Happiness.
I will share with you now that the
single most gratifying thing for me is facilitating
another's enhancing happiness and that according to
research, this makes me a happier person!
It takes commitment and effort to become happier, as with any goal in life. Research shows that when people are happier, they become healthier and more curious, sociable, helpful, creative, and willing to try new things.
The first step to enhancing happiness may be to challenge your own ideas about happiness. The truth may set you free for a happier life starting right now! Please read on about a few myths about happiness that may be holding you back.
It's all about genetics
There's evidence that genetics
contributes to about 50% of your happiness. There are some
proven methods for enhancing happiness- such as nurturing
relationships, writing in a gratitude journal, committing random
acts of kindness, (helping others -- may be the most direct
route to happiness, notes Stephen G. Post, PhD, co-author
of Why Good Things Happen to Good People: The Exciting
New Research That Proves the Link Between Doing Good and Living a
Longer, Healthier, Happier Life). Beginning a program
of morning meditation or exercise can help too.
Changes like these -- proven methods for enhancing happiness -- can become habits after a while, which means they eventually take less effort.
Happiness is dependant on your circumstances
Robert Biswas-Diener, MS, founder of Meridian Life Coaching LLC and co-author ofHappiness: Unlocking the Mysteries of Psychological Wealth and Sonja Lyubormirsky, PhD, author of The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want and professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside agree that lasting happiness has more to do with how you think and behave than with life's circumstances. Helping others with face to face interaction, including volunteering a few hours a week or doing five generous things in a week can significantly enhance your level of happiness. It's important that you choose activities that have a good personal fit.
Positive emotions must be more abundant than negative emotions for someone to experience happiness
Research has shown this is not true, except perhaps for people with depression or other serious disorders.
I hope this information has
helped to de-mystify happiness and inspired you to act on
something to enhance your happiness that is both
pleasureable and meaningful!
Listen to Moving Meditation®
|Track #2: Rythmic Movement|
|Track #7: Guided Relaxation|
A simple way to treat SAD.
No one wants to think about dying.
A lot of us live our lives not thinking about the end.
We always thing we’ll have enough time to do all of the things we want… “some day.”
But how many times have you heard people (or maybe yourself) say that they wished they had done something before they were too old, before they had kids or got married or turned 50, 60 or 70?
- Kissing and hugging my husband and children as often as they will let me and really mean it. (Some of them like it more than others!)
- Never leaving the house without telling my family that I love them or hanging up the phone when I talk to my mom without saying it too.
- I always stop what I am doing and listen to anyone when they are talking, even if my 4 year old is telling me for the tenth time that she saw a butterfly and what color it is.
Do you have what it takes to be an Entrepreneur?
To ask for help when needed?
- To make quick and smart decisions on the spur of the moment?
- To invest in yourself, long-term?
- To have the courage to put yourself first?
To TRUST that everything will be okay?
I know these are loaded questions, but just like the elephant in the room, they need to be addressed.
There are times when internal fortitude is needed, and it happens when needing to ask for help, needing to make quick decisions, putting you first, and “trusting” that everything will work out at the end. They sound simple enough; however, they can be monumental steps when you don’t know what to do or how to do it.
The good news is, the more you practice, the easier it gets, until it becomes second hand.
There is one thing, though, intrinsically connected to this process of practice, is your willingness to have a higher sense of self-awareness to all that is happening to you. In other words, acknowledge the Elephant in the Room.
The second thing is
having a grateful heart for all the
lessons learned, all of what you have, and all of what’s yet to
Have What It Takes... to be an Entrepreneur
- Do you ask for help in a direct and straight-forward manner or do you try to exaggerate the story to make it even more compelling and delicious?
- Are you quick on your feet to make important decisions, or do you second-guess yourself constantly? And, do you allow self-doubt to play a role in your decision-making process?
- When you think of long-term investments, financial or otherwise, do you consider yourself first? Or do others play a more important role in making those future provisions?
- Do you make a conscious decision to put yourself first, above anyone else, or is that difficult for you to do?
- Do you have what it takes to TRUST in something higher and bigger than yourself that everything will be okay?
Options You For Having What it Takes to be an Entrepreneur:
- On a scale of 1 to 10, rate your level of difficulties to accomplish the above-named tasks. In fact, print out this page, and start rating; 1 being the least difficult, 10 being the most difficult.
- Anything in between, rate it at average and on each of your answers explain to yourself why the levels are what they are.
- This exercise will give you a great deal of clarity moving forward and it will help you improve performance where needed.
- To achieve desired results, understand your willingness to change, and your willingness to embrace change. This is very important.
Do You Have What It Takes... to be an Entrepreneur Action Plan :
Some of these activities will be more difficult than others, and they will be at different levels. Some of them may even be painful, especially if they’ve never been addressed before.
Your job is to identify, clarify, transform, and ALIGN THEM! There has to be a balance and correlation of thought, speech, and vibrational feelings, with well coordinated actions to fit the ultimate results. All talk and no action equals nothing. Just like knowledge, if you don’t apply it, you will get no results.
- Know who to ask for guidance, direction and advice.
- Tell your story from a matter-of-fact place, rather than a victim’s place. However, it’s important to tell your story. Do NOT hold back.
- Remember a victim’s mindset attracts poverty, lack and scarcity, while a decisive, self-confident mindset, attracts more of the same. Do not let the shadows of Self-Doubt cloud your judgment, imagination, and your ability to decide. It is always wise to have an accountability partner to stand with you and by you in times of uncertainty and need.
- Decide to put yourself first. Though tricky and difficult for some, if not you, who?….and if not now, when? It becomes a matter of practicing extreme self-care and self-love when you make such conscious decision and raise your level of awareness that whatever you do matters, at a very high level. Anything else you may tell yourself is an excuse to either avoid something, or make someone else feel good about who they are. So you see, YOU must consider yourself first. You are the FOUNDATION, what would happen without it?
- Lastly, and this is a biggie, TRUST that everything will work out for the best at the end. It is very hard to let go and trust; however, this is your place of peace, and where you attain your highest sense of SELF. With such heightened sense of clarity comes the ability to make better decisions, to find those that can effectively help you, the ability for deeper self-love and care, and a much higher sense of self-confidence and self-worth.
the “do you have what it takes”, dig into your “considerations”,
exercise your “options,” and finally, TAKE ACTION towards a
better business, a better life, and a better YOU.
RELATED ARTICLE: Do You Have What It Takes... to be an Entrepreneur?
Worrying takes an enormous amount of time and energy and stats show that a tiny percentage of what we considier worrisome never happens.
2. Let go of perfectionism, take action and manifest!
Give yourself permission to take action and begin a project beforte all the "kinks" are straightened out, as long as you are following a "strategic" plan.
3. Examine anything you are procrastinating about to see if it's worthwhile to pursue.
If it is and you need to get past a few blocks, learn EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) a sure procrastination eradicator!
4. Listen to your intuition.
Always! Pay attention to your physical and emotional cues!
5. Be a great listener!
Listening well has a few great benefits: Listen well and your response will be more on target.
6. You always have a choice!
Give yourself a few minutes in the morning to visualize success.
Before "popping" out of bed, visualize your day happening including what you are wearing and how conversations unfold. If it is not a happy-productive scenario, when possible eliminate it.
7. Take frequent breaks
Throughout the day, leave the scene of work. Go outside if possible, stretch and walk.
8. Be grateful!
It's been going around that this is the only way to be if you want to have peace of mind. To further gratefulness along, write three things/people you are grateful for each day, adding to the list you have created. When you walk, you can use these as a "mantra". Post them on post-its on your mirror and on the car dashboard. Witness the magic happen :).
9. Take time each day to relax and dream.
Practice yoga and/or meditation or simply do some relaxation breathing in a peaceful spot.
10. Surround yourself with positive people.
Motivational Whisperers TV presents this episode of SOAR! with Resilience™ .
Related Article: Move Towards Your Inner Power and walk through the shadows